The Premise: Sometimes my brain plays tricks on me and I blurt things out that don’t make sense. I was putting on my unicorn socks (socks with unicorns on them) and voiced ‘unicorn flu.” Then I began to ask myself, what would that look like, and why would anyone NOT want to catch it? Here is my answer.

Unicorn Flu is an extremely rare and uncommon illness.

No one knows how one catches it since it is not transmitted from another human. But when you have it, everyone knows you have it, so beware.

Its name comes from the colourful symptoms that afflict a person who has succumbed to it.

As of yet, there is no treatment, though symptoms should alleviate after 2 to 3 weeks.

Symptoms:

Unicorn Flu acts primarily like any other regular cold, but with little chance of fever, with little to no nasal congestion. However, it comes with its own set of odd and unique symptoms that distinguish it from any illness ever before known in human history.

These symptoms include:

• Mucus will alternate between the various colours of the rainbow, especially when expectorating through the nose.
• You will also be very prone to farting pink puffs of glitter.

Glitter gets everywhere.

Many people try to avoid anyone who has Unicorn Flu, not because they may catch it but because they simply do not wish to bring home glitter only for it to get in everything and onto everyone else.

We advise people with Unicorn Flu not to use public transportation for the sake of not spreading the glitter.

Statistics have shown that people with Unicorn Flu enjoy partying at raves where they are specifically given beans to eat so they can provide glitter inside the club. 

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