Julien and Nicolas both realise the other knows what has happened
before they make good use of that tree stump in the front garden of their cabin.

Note: Preview is SFW.

In Peace, Vigilance;
In War, Victory;
In Death, Sacrifice;
In Afterlife, Elation.

Julien watched Maric, Kell and Duncan walk down the bend, something tugging at his heart. He had resumed chopping wood while Nicolas was speaking with them. Now he cast his axe aside, letting it drop onto the grass, and he hurried after them.
        ‘Wait,’ he called out.
        The three wardens turned to face him.
        ‘Look,’ Maric began, ‘we didn’t come to cause any trouble.’ Julien waved a hand dismissively at him.
        Julien looked at Duncan and smiled. ‘I have no regrets.’
        Duncan just stared at him before his eyes widened.
        ‘Wait,’ Kell breathed.
        ‘You’re not a demon?’ asked Duncan.
        Julien let out a one-breathed laugh and placed his hand on the younger warden’s shoulder. ‘Duncan, I’m glad I saved you. You may be foolish, stupid at times, but your life was worth saving. And no, I’m not a demon.’
        ‘Then how are you here when the rest of us were in a dream?’ asked Maric, eyeing Julien with suspicion.
        ‘I created this place when I died, willing to wait for Nicolas,’ Julien explained. ‘Whatever brought you into the Fade used this place to send Nicolas here. If it was a demon, then it did us both a favour.’
        ‘Why didn’t you say anything sooner?’ asked Kell.
        ‘Because I didn’t want to hold Nicolas back if he needed to return with you,’ replied Julien. He smiled fondly. ‘He stayed.’
        ‘He stayed for you,’ said Duncan.
        Julien hugged the young man. ‘Promise me to live your best life as a warden, all right?’
        ‘I won’t let your sacrifice be for nothing, I promise you that.’
        Julien pulled away; Duncan’s eyes brimmed with tears. Julien turned to Kell and embraced his friend. Then, he clasped hands with King Maric.
        ‘Find Geneviève. Find Fiona. Complete our mission.’ Julien bowed politely.
        ‘We will,’ Maric assured.
        ‘Live well, uh, I mean, in the Fade, well,’ Duncan bumbled.
        Julien chuckled before nodding. ‘Thank you, I will.’
        The three other men backed away before turning and leaving.
        Julien hurried back up the bend, smiling the whole way. Nicolas stepped out of the cabin, scowling. Julien pointed a thumb behind him. ‘I went to see them off.’
        Julien saw Nicolas swallow and a sob escaped him. ‘Oh, Julien.’
        ‘What’s the matter, Nicolas?’ Julien stepped closer to his lover.
        Nicolas took Julien’s hands in his. He hesitated. ‘I…I know this may shock you, but…we’re dead.’
        Julien smiled tenderly. ‘I know.’
        Nicolas blinked a few times. ‘You know?’
        Julien nodded carefully. ‘I thought…I wasn’t sure if you knew or not, but…I didn’t want you throwing what was left of your life away just because I was dead. And when I saw the others I for sure knew you were not yet dead. I…I thought if I pretended not to know them, then you might return with them.’
        ‘I have no life without you, Julien. I forfeit my life to be with you now, I just couldn’t.’
        Julien’s heart swelled. ‘Oh, mon amour,’ he breathed. ‘You know, I was so scared you’d die when you were injured, and I told myself, better me than you, let it be me because I didn’t want to lose you.’
        Nicolas stared at Julien intensely for a few moments before speaking, his voice gruff with grief. ‘I died inside the moment you died.’ His brows furrowed in sorrow. ‘You were dead before I even had you in my arms and I tried to make Fiona bring you back.’
        Julien placed a hand on Nicolas’s face. ‘It’s okay, mon amour. I didn’t want to be selfish.’ He smiled tenderly. ‘I’m glad you stayed. I would have waited, but I’m glad you chose to stay.’

Continue reading In Afterlife, Elation

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Julien comes upon the dream created by Nicolas before the blond warrior sheds all illusions.
The two then shed all worries and all armour, and indulge in each other for all the Fade to see and hear them.

Note: Preview is SFW.

Julien came upon a small clearing that looked like the Arbor Wilds. He had been roaming the Fade since his death, looking for a place to settle in while he waited for Nicolas, ready to wait for him how ever long it took.
        This place had a familiar feel to it. He strode up the path and recognised that the cabin looked just like he and Nicolas had envisioned it would be. The cabin stood at the top of a small rise, the cabin itself from the outside looked homey. A roofed balcony with a pair of rocking chairs that looked just like the ones they’d sit on in their rooms at the Grey Warden fortress told him he had found Nicolas.
        He smiled before being hit with a pang of fear. If Nicolas was here, then did it mean he had found his death so soon? Part of him was glad of it, selfishly so, another part would have hoped to see Nicolas live until his Calling.
        Julien jogged forward. ‘Nicolas!’
        The door to the cabin swung open. Nicolas ran out and stared at Julien, aghast. Julien recognised fear on his face, confusion perhaps.
        ‘Nicolas?’
        The voice was Julien’s but he had not spoken. Behind Nicolas came a man – him, Julien saw, or at least he looked like him: same dark hair, same short beard and moustache. And he was shirtless.
        Julien’s heart sank.
        ‘What is the meaning of this?’ the other Julien gasped.
        ‘Julien?’ Nicolas asked, sounding unsure.
        Julien nodded. ‘It is me, mon amour.’ He looked down at himself, he was in the armour he’d worn when he died. He looked up at the other Julien. ‘What are you? A demon, a spirit?’
        ‘What’s going on?’ the other Julien demanded.
        Nicolas began to slowly back up from both of them as Julien approached him.
        ‘This can’t be real, none of it can. This…was a dream, but I thought…you were real.’
        ‘Oh, mon amour, you were holding onto a dream, afraid you’d get lost if you searched for me? Or had you thought you’d found me?’
        The other Julien merely stood staring warily.
        Nicolas’s mouth hung open. ‘I don’t know.’
        ‘What happened, Nicolas?’ Julien tried to sound soothing. ‘Speak to me.’
        ‘I died.’ Nicolas downcast his eyes. ‘A demon took us into the Fade. The others found me but I chose to stay. This is a dream, I know it’s not real. But then are you also not real?’
        ‘If you control the dream, then you will see I am real when it fades,’ Julien asserted. ‘Don’t be afraid, mon amour. I am here now, it is safe to let go of whatever this is.’
        Nicolas looked at the other Julien who stood silent now. ‘It doesn’t have to be like this,’ the other Julien declared.
        ‘Doesn’t have to be like what?’ Julien demanded.
        Nicolas shook his head. Julien took a few steps forward but Nicolas backed away from him, keeping a fair distance between them.
        Nicolas bowed his head. ‘I want all that is not real to go now. I will deal with the grief on my own. Leave me.’
        He closed his eyes and around them, the dream faded away, as did the other Julien. Nicolas’s clothes were replaced by the armour he’d worn in the Deep Roads.
        Julien waited, giving his love a moment. Nicolas lifted his head and his tear-speckled eyes widened when he saw that Julien still stood before him.
        ‘Julien?’
        Julien nodded. ‘Oui, it’s me. For real.’
        Nicolas let out a sob. ‘Julien!’
        ‘Nicolas!’
        Julien closed the distance between them at a run and took Nicolas in his arms, pressing his lips against his.
        Nicolas breathed in deeply, then pulled away. ‘It’s you, it’s really you.’
        ‘Oui, mon amour.’
        Julien kissed him again, feeling their love more vibrantly than when they were alive. He leaned his forehead on Nicolas’s, his heart soaring. ‘I’ve been searching for a place like the one in your dream. I was going to wait for you. Seems I don’t have to.’
        Nicolas let out a gasp, tears trickling from his eyes.
        ‘Oh, mon amour. I’m sorry you have died,’ Julien sighed, chagrined.
        Nicolas shook his head. ‘I died the moment you did. You are my other half.’
        Julien gently placed his hands on Nicolas’s face, his own eyes brimming with tears. ‘Then now you are whole again.’
        Nicolas let out a sobbed laugh. He traced his fingers along Julien’s moustache and beard before plunging towards him and devouring his mouth. Julien groaned, tasting his love affectionately.
        ‘We are in the Fade,’ Nicolas whispered.
        ‘Yes, indeed.’ Julien chuckled.
        ‘Can we stay here as long as we choose?’
        ‘We can. Many spirits I encountered in my brief travels claim there is no limit to what we can create here if we want.’
        Nicolas gave him a lopsided grin. ‘Then we can make this last the eternity we’ve dreamed of.’

Continue reading Never Fading Heaven

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You might also enjoy the Shadie series Star Wars Old Republic Fan-Fiction, or other SWTOR fanfics, Mass Effect Fan-Fiction, or Stardust Destinies the High Fantasy Fiction series.