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Julien and Nicolas both realise the other knows what has happened
before they make good use of that tree stump in the front garden of their cabin.

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Note: Preview is SFW.

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In Peace, Vigilance;
In War, Victory;
In Death, Sacrifice;
In Afterlife, Elation.

Julien watched Maric, Kell and Duncan walk down the bend, something tugging at his heart. He had resumed chopping wood while Nicolas was speaking with them. Now he cast his axe aside, letting it drop onto the grass, and he hurried after them.
        ‘Wait,’ he called out.
        The three wardens turned to face him.
        ‘Look,’ Maric began, ‘we didn’t come to cause any trouble.’ Julien waved a hand dismissively at him.
        Julien looked at Duncan and smiled. ‘I have no regrets.’
        Duncan just stared at him before his eyes widened.
        ‘Wait,’ Kell breathed.
        ‘You’re not a demon?’ asked Duncan.
        Julien let out a one-breathed laugh and placed his hand on the younger warden’s shoulder. ‘Duncan, I’m glad I saved you. You may be foolish, stupid at times, but your life was worth saving. And no, I’m not a demon.’
        ‘Then how are you here when the rest of us were in a dream?’ asked Maric, eyeing Julien with suspicion.
        ‘I created this place when I died, willing to wait for Nicolas,’ Julien explained. ‘Whatever brought you into the Fade used this place to send Nicolas here. If it was a demon, then it did us both a favour.’
        ‘Why didn’t you say anything sooner?’ asked Kell.
        ‘Because I didn’t want to hold Nicolas back if he needed to return with you,’ replied Julien. He smiled fondly. ‘He stayed.’
        ‘He stayed for you,’ said Duncan.
        Julien hugged the young man. ‘Promise me to live your best life as a warden, all right?’
        ‘I won’t let your sacrifice be for nothing, I promise you that.’
        Julien pulled away; Duncan’s eyes brimmed with tears. Julien turned to Kell and embraced his friend. Then, he clasped hands with King Maric.
        ‘Find Geneviève. Find Fiona. Complete our mission.’ Julien bowed politely.
        ‘We will,’ Maric assured.
        ‘Live well, uh, I mean, in the Fade, well,’ Duncan bumbled.
        Julien chuckled before nodding. ‘Thank you, I will.’
        The three other men backed away before turning and leaving.
        Julien hurried back up the bend, smiling the whole way. Nicolas stepped out of the cabin, scowling. Julien pointed a thumb behind him. ‘I went to see them off.’
        Julien saw Nicolas swallow and a sob escaped him. ‘Oh, Julien.’
        ‘What’s the matter, Nicolas?’ Julien stepped closer to his lover.
        Nicolas took Julien’s hands in his. He hesitated. ‘I…I know this may shock you, but…we’re dead.’
        Julien smiled tenderly. ‘I know.’
        Nicolas blinked a few times. ‘You know?’
        Julien nodded carefully. ‘I thought…I wasn’t sure if you knew or not, but…I didn’t want you throwing what was left of your life away just because I was dead. And when I saw the others I for sure knew you were not yet dead. I…I thought if I pretended not to know them, then you might return with them.’
        ‘I have no life without you, Julien. I forfeit my life to be with you now, I just couldn’t.’
        Julien’s heart swelled. ‘Oh, mon amour,’ he breathed. ‘You know, I was so scared you’d die when you were injured, and I told myself, better me than you, let it be me because I didn’t want to lose you.’
        Nicolas stared at Julien intensely for a few moments before speaking, his voice gruff with grief. ‘I died inside the moment you died.’ His brows furrowed in sorrow. ‘You were dead before I even had you in my arms and I tried to make Fiona bring you back.’
        Julien placed a hand on Nicolas’s face. ‘It’s okay, mon amour. I didn’t want to be selfish.’ He smiled tenderly. ‘I’m glad you stayed. I would have waited, but I’m glad you chose to stay.’

---

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Julien comes upon the dream created by Nicolas before the blond warrior sheds all illusions.
The two then shed all worries and all armour, and indulge in each other for all the Fade to see and hear them.

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Note: Preview is SFW.

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Julien came upon a small clearing that looked like the Arbor Wilds. He had been roaming the Fade since his death, looking for a place to settle in while he waited for Nicolas, ready to wait for him how ever long it took.
        This place had a familiar feel to it. He strode up the path and recognised that the cabin looked just like he and Nicolas had envisioned it would be. The cabin stood at the top of a small rise, the cabin itself from the outside looked homey. A roofed balcony with a pair of rocking chairs that looked just like the ones they’d sit on in their rooms at the Grey Warden fortress told him he had found Nicolas.
        He smiled before being hit with a pang of fear. If Nicolas was here, then did it mean he had found his death so soon? Part of him was glad of it, selfishly so, another part would have hoped to see Nicolas live until his Calling.
        Julien jogged forward. ‘Nicolas!’
        The door to the cabin swung open. Nicolas ran out and stared at Julien, aghast. Julien recognised fear on his face, confusion perhaps.
        ‘Nicolas?’
        The voice was Julien’s but he had not spoken. Behind Nicolas came a man – him, Julien saw, or at least he looked like him: same dark hair, same short beard and moustache. And he was shirtless.
        Julien’s heart sank.
        ‘What is the meaning of this?’ the other Julien gasped.
        ‘Julien?’ Nicolas asked, sounding unsure.
        Julien nodded. ‘It is me, mon amour.’ He looked down at himself, he was in the armour he’d worn when he died. He looked up at the other Julien. ‘What are you? A demon, a spirit?’
        ‘What’s going on?’ the other Julien demanded.
        Nicolas began to slowly back up from both of them as Julien approached him.
        ‘This can’t be real, none of it can. This…was a dream, but I thought…you were real.’
        ‘Oh, mon amour, you were holding onto a dream, afraid you’d get lost if you searched for me? Or had you thought you’d found me?’
        The other Julien merely stood staring warily.
        Nicolas’s mouth hung open. ‘I don’t know.’
        ‘What happened, Nicolas?’ Julien tried to sound soothing. ‘Speak to me.’
        ‘I died.’ Nicolas downcast his eyes. ‘A demon took us into the Fade. The others found me but I chose to stay. This is a dream, I know it’s not real. But then are you also not real?’
        ‘If you control the dream, then you will see I am real when it fades,’ Julien asserted. ‘Don’t be afraid, mon amour. I am here now, it is safe to let go of whatever this is.’
        Nicolas looked at the other Julien who stood silent now. ‘It doesn’t have to be like this,’ the other Julien declared.
        ‘Doesn’t have to be like what?’ Julien demanded.
        Nicolas shook his head. Julien took a few steps forward but Nicolas backed away from him, keeping a fair distance between them.
        Nicolas bowed his head. ‘I want all that is not real to go now. I will deal with the grief on my own. Leave me.’
        He closed his eyes and around them, the dream faded away, as did the other Julien. Nicolas’s clothes were replaced by the armour he’d worn in the Deep Roads.
        Julien waited, giving his love a moment. Nicolas lifted his head and his tear-speckled eyes widened when he saw that Julien still stood before him.
        ‘Julien?’
        Julien nodded. ‘Oui, it’s me. For real.’
        Nicolas let out a sob. ‘Julien!’
        ‘Nicolas!’
        Julien closed the distance between them at a run and took Nicolas in his arms, pressing his lips against his.
        Nicolas breathed in deeply, then pulled away. ‘It’s you, it’s really you.’
        ‘Oui, mon amour.’
        Julien kissed him again, feeling their love more vibrantly than when they were alive. He leaned his forehead on Nicolas’s, his heart soaring. ‘I’ve been searching for a place like the one in your dream. I was going to wait for you. Seems I don’t have to.’
        Nicolas let out a gasp, tears trickling from his eyes.
        ‘Oh, mon amour. I’m sorry you have died,’ Julien sighed, chagrined.
        Nicolas shook his head. ‘I died the moment you did. You are my other half.’
        Julien gently placed his hands on Nicolas’s face, his own eyes brimming with tears. ‘Then now you are whole again.’
        Nicolas let out a sobbed laugh. He traced his fingers along Julien’s moustache and beard before plunging towards him and devouring his mouth. Julien groaned, tasting his love affectionately.
        ‘We are in the Fade,’ Nicolas whispered.
        ‘Yes, indeed.’ Julien chuckled.
        ‘Can we stay here as long as we choose?’
        ‘We can. Many spirits I encountered in my brief travels claim there is no limit to what we can create here if we want.’
        Nicolas gave him a lopsided grin. ‘Then we can make this last the eternity we’ve dreamed of.’

---

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Nicolas gives in to the demon’s illusions before Julien finds him and leads him to the place he has claimed for them,
where they create a new memory in their new home in the Fade.

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Note: Preview is SFW.

---

It wasn’t the cabin from the dream, and Nicolas was relieved in a way that it wasn’t, not after what had happened there. Not after what he had done. But it was a cabin, luxurious and homey, and outside its windows, Nicolas could see the Fade.
        ‘It’s not exactly what we’d hoped it would be,’ began Julien, ‘but it’s close enough. Outside is a reminder that we’re not alive, but in this place our spirits feel like real bodies, and we can dwell here for as long as we wish. Longer than we could have been together when alive before the Calling took us, anyhow.’
        Nicolas turned to regard Julien with sorrow. ‘It’s perfect.’ Tears stung his eyes.
        ‘Nicolas,’ Julien said softly, taking his hand. ‘Do not fret about what happened. I am not angry.’
        ‘But I cheated on you with a demon!’
        Julien stared at him aghast before smiling and he chuckled. ‘Do you realise how funny that sounds?’
        Nicolas shook his head in disbelief, grateful yet regretful. ‘But—’
        ‘Ah-ah-ah!’ Julien placed a finger on Nicolas’s lips, shutting him up. He smiled tenderly, fiddling with Nicolas’s long blond moustache, twirling it on either side with his fingers. ‘So you thought a demon was me. You doubted but you were desperate for it to be me. You made love to it, to me, though not truly me. And then what happened?’
        ‘I died. Everything disappeared. I was lost. A spirit showed me the echoes of what happened. King Maric killed the demon.’
        ‘Ah, well then, all is well, then.’
        Nicolas shook his head again. ‘How did I deserve such a wonderful man as you?’
        ‘I don’t know.’ Julien wrapped his arms around Nicolas. ‘I reckon I’m quite lucky and you deserve all the love from me for all the love you give me.’
        ‘You’re not mad?’
        ‘Non, mon amour, I am not mad.’ Julien looked at Nicolas, his dark deep eyes boring into his. He brushed Nicolas’s hair from his shoulder and rested his hand there. ‘But if you feel so strongly about it, I can help you replace the memory with a real one, with this one.’ He kissed his cheek.
        Nicolas let out a soft sob, his heart soaring for the man before him.
        ‘So tell me, how was I? Where was I standing?’ Julien took a step back, his arms moving about unsure where to put himself. ‘Was I here, were you here?’
        Nicolas understood what Julien was trying to do. ‘You mean to recreate what I did with the demon with you?’
        ‘Yes.’
        Nicolas just stared at him. ‘It was a bit fast.’ He admitted.
        ‘Then we’ll make it last longer.’
        Nicolas felt a smile spread across his face. ‘Well, first off, you were shirtless.’
        ‘Okay.’ Julien stripped down to be topless and Nicolas watched him, feeling breathless and aroused as Julien’s taut muscles gleaned in the dim light of the Fade cabin. Julien’s chest hair only accentuated his pectorals as he breathed deeply.
        Nicolas suppressed a smile. ‘You were standing here, and I…’ He bowed his head. ‘I was weeping the whole time.’
        ‘Oh, mon amour. You can weep if you want, though if you prefer not to recreate that part, I am fine with that.’
        Julien looked at him with tender eyes, forgiving eyes, and Nicolas felt a flutter in his stomach. He pressed a hand to Julien’s back, pulling him to him, and kissed him, devouring his lips hungrily.

---

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Aided by a spirit of compassion, Nicolas searches the Fade for Julien
before bringing his lover to the cabin where he gives him a tantalising tour.

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Note: Preview is SFW.

---

Nicolas watched the wardens and King Maric leave before turning back to face the mantle. He heard Julien hurry in.
        ‘They are leaving,’ stated Julien.
        Nicolas said nothing. He merely stared at the hearth.
        ‘Nicolas? Are you going to tell me what is going on?’
        Nicolas turned to face Julien. He slowly walked to him, his heart heavy. ‘They are right, Julien.’ He cupped his face and traced a finger along the man’s moustache and short beard. ‘You’re not real. This is but a dream.’
        ‘But you didn’t go with them?’
        ‘I can’t. I want to die. I’m…already dead.’
        ‘So you’ll stay?’
        Nicolas’s brows furrowed as he searched Julien’s eyes. ‘What are you? A spirit? A piece of the demon? You cannot be Julien. How can you be Julien?’
        ‘I feel all that he does,’ Julien replied. ‘I love you as he did. The echoes of his love linger in your soul.’ He touched Nicolas’s face. Nicolas leaned into his hand. ‘If you want me to be him, I will stay with you and be with you.’
        Julien kissed him tenderly, his tongue gliding along his. Nicolas moaned softly as his stomach fluttered, and his lips lingered on Julien’s.
        After a moment, he pulled away slowly. ‘But what are you?’
        ‘I am a spirit of compassion.’
        Nicolas’s eyes brimmed with tears. He bowed his head. ‘I cannot go back with the others, I do not wish to, and even if I did, it is too late now.’ He sighed heavily, trembling with chagrin. ‘But I want Julien, my Julien. Mon amour, Julien.’
        Julien’s eyes grew sad. ‘Then let me help you.’ His gaze grew distant. ‘I know how to find him, how to find where he wanders.’
        ‘And then we can bring him here?’ asked Nicolas.
        ‘Yes.’
        ‘Thank you.’
        The spirit in Julien’s form had tears in his eyes and he took Nicolas in his arms, holding him tightly before letting go and transforming into a spirit form. He now wore Grey Warden armour, Nicolas assumed for recognition, and he shimmered with a golden-white light.
        The spirit of compassion nodded to him. ‘This way.’ Its voice retained an Orlesian accent and was male but it was different, as that of a stranger’s.
        Nicolas followed it away from the cabin.
        ‘Do not worry,’ it reassured, ‘everything here will remain as it is when we return. You have claimed this corner of the Fade.’ It smiled. ‘I have already sent a thought to other spirits for them to guard this place for you. It is your new home.’
        ‘I appreciate that, spirit,’ Nicolas said.
        ‘You may call me Compassion.’
        Together they travelled through the Fade, from one area to the next, stopping to speak to other spirits from time to time. Some of them were dreamers, others had similar forms as this one, shimmering with the light of various colours.
        ‘How long have you existed?’ asked Nicolas, wanting to take his mind off his worry.
        ‘Forever.’
        ‘And…are you not worried my woe will corrupt you?’
        Compassion chuckled and turned its head to regard Nicolas. ‘It takes something much more intense than that to corrupt a spirit.’
        ‘I was sent into the Fade by a demon though.’ Nicolas was grateful for the spirit’s aid and was genuinely concerned.
        Compassion shook its head. ‘That is not how it works here.’ It stopped and turned to face Nicolas. ‘Do not worry yourself about me.’
        They continued for another while. There was a woman who was singing vibrantly nearby. She stopped, embarrassed when she saw them. She was human, a mage, Nicolas could see. She regarded Nicolas and smiled.
        ‘You know it’s funny. I saw such a handsome man such as you not too long ago. Orlesian too by the looks of his moustache.’
        Nicolas’s heart leapt with trepidation. ‘Dark hair, short beard, warrior?’
        The woman nodded. ‘You know him?’
        ‘He’s my lover!’ Nicolas blurted out.
        She pointed some ways ahead. And resumed her singing, more softly this time.
        Nicolas quickened his pace and they came to a rise in the Fade that gave access to many other sections and platforms. His heart racing, Nicolas ran ahead. He might have been dead but his lungs burned from breathing heavily all the same. Compassion just glided along beside him, matching his speed.
        Finally, they came to a cliff in the Fade. Nicolas became frantic. ‘Where do we go from here?’
        Compassion placed a hand on Nicolas’s shoulder and squeezed gently. ‘Look.’
        Nicolas followed its gaze and saw across a chasm another island where wandered Julien, looking this way and that as though searching yet looking forlorn.
        ‘Julien!’ he called out. Julien paused, looking up. ‘Over here!’

---

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