Tag Archives: anecdotes

February 11, 2023

I Was Abused! – An Introduction To Sharing More About Abuse on Medium

By binkyproductions

I am thrilled to be a writer for Dark Are the Secrets Behind These Walls publication by Wendy Geers.

I have so much to share, but where to begin?

Which anecdote do I start with? What helpful tidbit of information about abuse do I share first? What might help other survivors of abuse recognise what they lived or are still living through?

I suppose I should begin with; I was abused.

It took me ten years to tell people, besides family and close friends who were there when it happened, that I was abused. There is fear in saying it, toxic shame from the inner critic repeating the words of the abuser, embarrassment, and all sorts of negative emotions.

But it’s so freeing to be able to say these phrases.

  • I was abused.
  • I’ve been in an abusive relationship.
  • My ex abused me.
  • My ex is an abuser.

Take any variation you like; today, I can say them. Correction, I can’t just SAY them. I can ASSERT them because I have healed so much, and I am confident in taking back the sovereign power of my individuality. I can assert what I’ve lived, but it was a dark place, and for a long time, I was in that dark place.

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February 8, 2023

After A One-Night Stand, His GF Wanted Me In Their Threesome – An Anecdote of Sensual Exploration

By binkyproductions

Okay, once again, I swear, this story is clean!😆

I was in my first year of Cegep (that in Quebec is after High School, before or instead of University, basically College but not).

I was at a party held by some of the third-year students from the Theatre Program. Their neighbor, another student at the Cegep I was attending, was also present. Everyone was chatting with everyone, having a blast.

And then the cops arrived.

I was freaking out! I was 17 and I thought we would all get arrested. People were smoking weed and piss ass drunk. Cops were probably there because of the noise, though. But still.

The neighbor (we’ll call him F) invited me to hop over the balcony and hang out at his place.

I accepted the invitation.

It was late, I had missed the last metro (subway for some) and I was stuck waiting until morning to go home anyway.

F got us some snacks, and some more drinks, but we were being moderate so we wouldn’t be drunk.

He asked me if I wanted to make out and fool around. I suggested we play Strip Crazy Eights.

He was very straightforward with me and honest, and he let me know that he was on break with his girlfriend and he was just looking for some fun. I told him I was a virgin and what some things I had done were and what I had not done. He asked what I was comfortable trying and said we could play, strip, and see what we felt like doing.

Seemed like fun.

And it was.

We played cards, stripped, made out, explored each other’s bodies a bit. I suppose you could call it a one-night stand except it’s “sort of” because there was no intercourse. I did give my first bj that night. And he was very kind in instructing me how to proceed and what he enjoyed.

It was very interesting, to say the least.

We stayed up all night, then had breakfast food and chilled a bit before I had to leave. I met his roommate, chatted, and then I went home.

F and I started hanging out together more, some weekends, some evenings, just as friends, just to chat, watch movies, and play cards without the stripping. He’d tease me that he’d seen me naked, boasting in front of other guys, which was new to me, but looking back, it tells me he liked what he’d seen.

He got back together with his girlfriend and tried to match me up with a friend of his.

As an aside, F’s friend was only interested in kissing and not chatting much and we all went out to hang out together one evening, but F’s roommate bailed and turned back to go home. Migraine, he had said. But I think he had a crush on me and felt bad being the fifth wheel. I should have gone after him. Honestly, I would have preferred to hang out with the roommate, but I gave the friend a chance before deciding, “nope this guy ain’t for me”.

But back to F and his girlfriend.

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February 6, 2023

Fired For Asserting My Rights – An Anecdoe about the First Time I Got Fired from a Job

By binkyproductions

The assistant manager spun the story to get me fired, the biznatch!

I was working at a patisserie, a chocolate and pastry shop, I had just been hired, and it was during the time I was with the man who abused me. I thought my confidence wasn’t the best, but apparently, it was better than all the other girls who worked there.

I wasn’t much older than they were and they were all very submissive to the super strict assistant manager.

The manager was on holiday the weekend I started working there. I was shown around and told my tasks. I listened attentively and said things like, “thank you,” “excellent, I’m taking note of that,” “perfect, I’m on it,” “got it,” “understood,” etc. Like any good employee on training.

The assistant manager left to go on break and when she came back, told me I had misplaced something and where it should go.

‘Oh, sorry about that, got it. I’ll remember to put it in the other corner next time.’

It wasn’t a big deal, and another chocolate place I worked at years later, we’d misplace things all the time and laugh about it and were all jovial with each other. So I know that misplacing something when I had not previously been told where it went is not a terrible faux pas, but the assistant manager still eyed me angrily and growled a response at me.

But that shift went fairly well.

I had noticed how the other girls acted towards the assistant manager, perhaps I should have been less assertive? Several of the girls would bend in supplication, “I’m so sorry, it’s my fault, I don’t deserve your kindness.” That is not normal behaviour, and I was in an abusive relationship and already very submissive to begin with and I saw that. So imagine!

On top of that, when I chatted with the other girls, they kept complimenting me, wishing to be like me, saying I was so confident, so pretty, so this, so that. So I’m guessing I disrupted the rule of Queen B. B is for bitch.

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February 5, 2023

I Haven’t Smoked in 10 Years! – Achievement Unlocked!

By binkyproductions

That’s right. I’m an ex-smoker. Of both cigarettes and marijuana.

Some days I still crave it. I think I always will. I just want to smoke a good cigarette, on other days a good doobie. I know if I did, my already sensitive lungs would suffer, I’d be in pain as the smoke tore through my bronchial tubes, and I’d cough for days as though I had bronchitis. So I don’t.

Since I quit, man oh man have I become allergic to second-hand smoke. Vape is worse, it’s got properties that are similar (some the same) to perfume, and I’m literally allergic to perfume. I constrict and can no longer breathe. Fun times.

How it all began.

I was 15, I wanted to give it a try. Mostly to be cool. And it worked. Heck, the bullies started respecting me more because I was smoking. I tried it with a friend of mine, and because she smoked Export A Blue (not sponsored), that’s what I smoked. I did enjoy cigarillos though.

Damn! When Hubby drinks good quality whiskey (like Black Label (also not sponsored)) he tastes like a cigarillo.

I got quickly addicted, though I tried to hide it from my mom as a teen. I was an on-and-off smoker throughout Cegep, and then I started smoking regularly when I worked. It started with coworkers, paying for a few cigs I’d bum off them, then paying for a pack and sharing the cigs with coworkers who had shared with me.

I Basically Quit 4 Times

When I was dating the man who abused me, I was smoking every day, until I got terrible bronchitis that lasted months because of mould in the AC at work (a story for another time). I quit for 6 months before resuming because I was way intense trying to get my life back together after that relationship. Smoking and bonding with some peeps from the Internet Café down the street helped me cope.

When I was dating a friend of mine, even on days when I wasn’t smoking, I was smoking because he was a chain smoker and a chain weed smoker. The second-hand smoke was intense.

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