Is Kissing Cheating? A Story of Ill-Defined Monogamy.

Ask me this today, and I’d say it depends on how you define your relationship with your partner.

For example, for me and my husband, with our needs and desires, wants and expectations, kissing someone else is cheating for us. That is our monogamy.

I understand not all relationships are the same. There are very happy poly relationships, in which case kissing might be considered okay.

But what happens when a relationship is NOT defined?
Can you expect your partner to not kiss someone else?

Ask me this 15 years ago and I would have thought that cheating was ONLY having sex with someone else.

I was in an ill-defined relationship with a junkie. We were four months into the relationship at that time. It was New Year’s Eve.

(Yeah, you probably see where this is going.)

My family had organised something at my sister’s. The junkie called to say he was feeling unwell, coming down with something, and preferred to sleep it off. Concerned, we all told him well wishes, despite me feeling bummed.

My family and I had a wonderful and relaxing celebration at my sister’s.

When we got home, a bit past midnight, I still felt like I wanted to see him. He didn’t live far, and his roommate V, who’d become a good friend of mine by this time, had told me to pass by the apartment once I got home so we could hang out in celebration a bit anyway.

So my mom and I prepared some remedies and brews for me to bring to the junkie to help him feel better.

I walked over to his place. When V buzzed me up, he apologetically admitted that the junkie was not home. It turned out the junkie had gone to a party with his long-time friends. I was stunned and disappointed.

He ditched me for a party!

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