Calling Out My Abuser’s Bigotry

Trigger warnings: Abuse, Bigotry.

‘Just because you don’t swing that way, doesn’t mean it’s gross.’

Oh, that got me into trouble.

When I was in a relationship with my abuser, he showed signs of being a bigot, specifically against gay men. One day in particular, he was criticising a friend of his who was still single and was a more sensitive type of guy.

I never learnt if this friend was gay or not, but if he is, that’s okay. And if he’s straight and simply more sensitive, that’s okay too.

I told my abuser that. He scolded me.

The disgusting hypocrisy of it all!

While this abuser was making fun of his friend and calling him all sorts like “tapette” (which is very derogatory in French, coming from the word for fly-swatter), he was trying to convince me to have sex with another woman so he could watch. I said ‘no’ every time because I don’t swing that way.

So according to my abuser, lesbians were not gross but gay men were.

His friends came over and he was laying it on thick with the bigotry. This particular friend towards whom he was being a bigot was not present.

‘If I find out he’s gay, I’ll stop being his friend. I can’t have that in my circle,’ he condescended.

‘Then you’re not a true friend now,’ I retorted.

‘Shut up’!

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